I was eagerly waiting for writing and expressing my self on this issue which has gained it’s ration all over the world including it’s percentage wide in Pakistan, which is Body Shaming.
Sometimes body shaming can be someone’s motivation, but most of the times it causes depression.
This issue has been widely taken over every where and if we talk about this according to Pakistan, believe me this is the widely cause ratio of deaths in Pakistan due to the severe attacks of depression and anxiety.
What is body shaming?
Body shaming has become the norm of the society today. It is the judgments which are around us constantly without being fully aware and they can have a bad effect on us. It is choosing to make a judgement about a person about their body type. Body shaming is the hidden villain of the society today. Today, I want to introduce you to body shaming so that we can open up honest conversations around our own preconceived ideas as well as look at how we can raise awareness within society to eliminate body shaming all together.
Body shaming in Pakistan:
There is a large number of deaths which has taken place due to the body shaming in Pakistan. We all have to agree on this that on the daily basis we personally judge someone and pass negative comments on someone’s body and their beauty. When we start judging someone and pass that hatred comments, it slowly attacks a person with severe anxiety attacks and depression and it is very common in Pakistan. Let us take example from our own Lollywood industry. Whenever they upload a content, there is always a bunch of haters shaming them about their clothes, their makeup, and what they do, where they travel, haters always sit back and just write about the negative things about them without knowing that what shaming would feel like to them.
Coming to our education sector, you all have studies in school, colleges and some of them would be in universities. You all would have been bullied about your bodies and of course even what you would be wearing. Our minds are just stuck around these things. (Lo bhai iski to jaan le kar chorni hai). And it’s much sad to know that yes this is true , very much true. You have been bullied by your own class mates, went home cried and attacks are on the way. In Pakistani society, where this is a big social class difference, where an upper class student will never sit with a middle class one and what to say about the lower class, it’s saddened that our society is struck between these two classes. No place for the lower ones anywhere. There is a competition every where or between each other. Middle want to be at the upper place and upper ones want to reach the skies higher. In this difference, there comes ‘Wo to bare baap ki aulad hai pata nai kesi hogi ya hoga and on the other hand it comes wo to itni gandi aur ajeeb lag rahi hai pakka kisi gande background se hogi.’ Here comes the shaming about families, backgrounds, body shaming. Pakistan is losing it’s standard from the society conflicts. There is no such strong bonding for their society mates. If you don’t poke your nose in others matters has been taken much serious in Pakistan and of course everywhere why not ” keep your tongue with you is taken serious? This needs to be done with.
Throughout my life I have experienced times of being body shamed. It affected my self esteem, self worth and most of all my ability to actually love myself for who I am. From the bullies at school to my closest friends and people I know, body shame has come.
I am sharing one of my experience which has been really close to my heart and the time I am going to discus is the one when I was studying in college. Of course I was called fat, my hair wasn’t perfect for them, my clothing didn’t suited them. Why the hell I would dress my self for them? Firstly I have been body shamed many times in my school of course everyone has been a part of this, I was too the criminal of this. I was called fat, whenever I had went to the canteen for lunch they were like “How much will you eat fatso”? Or ” You will die eating”. Of course it doesn’t effect me in my school time, I was young I couldn’t understand what was that all but still remember those comments. And when I joined my college, everything was new and I was a grown up girl and was in my senses that, was that bad or good to understand. And it was really bad to absorb those comments. I still remember I was called fat, ugly and those bad comments still roam everywhere in my mind. Those were my starting days of college. No friends, new teachers, new people. This took two weeks. I ignored them but still it affected me daily. Still I was strong. Yet it made me depressed. Every time I went home, cried and then I slept. Overthinking caused my mind to get froze over these things and I do overthink a lot. I was given sleepless nights. And after so much dark days I got a hope and true mentor who told me that you are beautiful in your own way let them say what they want to because you are unique in your own way. And I still remember those words which motivated me to come back from this all situation and those were:
They talk about you because they are either impressed about you or they can’t match your level and want to be like you but they can’t.
And it literally helped me to the loads. I recovered slowly and gave it a thought that why even I was thinking about this? I never wanted to mention this but yes I was body shamed by my teachers too. They didn’t thought me anything or teach me anything they were the teachers of the subjects I didn’t studied. So what? I wasn’t in their fields yet they blamed me for nothing. I know that laugh when I used to pass by and they made me a laughing stock. They weren’t setting an example of themselves rather were telling their standards. Teacher are equal to our mothers I do respect them still but what I have gone through by them is what I have gone through. Teachers are their to guide us on the right path but some of them are their for their personal means. Not offended. I recovered very perfectly from this and i have personally body shamed many people I won’t lie I know I have been bad about some one so it would come to my side. It was a joke for me when i did that but slowly slowly i realized that this wasn’t good. Hurting someone’s feeling wasn’t good enough. Why would i be the reason of someone’s depression?
Either a person gets motivated or dies.
So I realized this wasn’t good. This needs to stop. So I stopped my self from this and start encouraging people who were ashamed of themselves. ❤ The truth is that my body is perfect. I can love my body, tune in with her, connect with her and still want to make changes that do my best for her. The difference is that I choose to nourish and exercise my body not because I want her to look a certain way but because I want her to feel a certain way. I want to feel strong and energized and I love myself enough to make choices that match that feeling. I really love my shape now and people who love themselves are the one who can spread love further ❤.
What you can do about body shaming?
First of all, I can say that it’s perfectly okay if you have these. I don’t meant to shame any one but it’s actually normal. Every one has different sizes. Some one is fat, thin, low in height or the taller one. Everyone needs to accept them selves as they are. No need to change your self for someone or under pressure. Yes! If you want to change your self do it for yourself. I am fat and it’s totally perfect with me because my body type is this I don’t wanna change because I look pretty well like this. Just change your mind set people. You need to change your attitude which will bring changes in the society automatically and in people.
Your body is not someone’s business neither someone’s body is yours
Just make this thing clear in your mind. That if you can’t accept someone’s shaming on you so it’s probably will return that you should stop also. Stop making others feel about themselves. You just need to focus on your on damn self. Whenever you notice yourself making a judgement about others make sure that you remind yourself that their body is none of your business and forgive your self.
You are worth more than your weight
Whenever you meet someone always talk about their smile and how positive they look or how much they attract you rather then commenting on their weight by saying that, ohhh God how much you have lose or gain. Do this same for your self, look into the mirror and admire something different of yourself rather looking for your weight.
Health doesn’t have one look
Remember that a healthy body is different for each body. One persons healthiest and most vibrant self looks so different to another persons. Health has a million faces, so don’t get stuck looking for just one. Some people are suffering from different diseases. I myself, have gone through a tough phase so I have some hormonal problem which doesn’t let me lose my self. So I look for something else in me rather weight gain. ❤?Create a routine that makes you more healthy. Stay active. Go for a walk. Go social in a positive way. Read books and make your personality a good one.
My Islamic point of view:
Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) say in his last sermon:
Mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black nor a black has any superiority over a white – except by piety and good action.
So why people? Stop this because it will gain you nothing but will make you a sinner before Allah almighty. How would Allah forgive until a man has forgiven you for hurting his sentiments? So please think of this and make yourself a true positive personality. Allah Almighty has made everyone beautiful in their own way. So just before making a judgement about someone think of Allah that he has made a man perfect in his own way. You are none to shame any body.
Questions to ask:
I hope this was much useful for you people. If anyone is facing this kind of issue please let me know and feel free to ask I will help you take out you from those dark nights. And I hope so you will feel enough good to read my views and start making yourself a better person and spread positive vibes. Even you, your self will feel a change in you and then a little bit of you will change a little of society. Thank you for going through this from your precious time. ?❤?
Self acceptance is something that everyone should do about themselves. Our character should always matter more than our outer sides. So just imagine that you are obsessed with the things you love about your self not about the one you always crises. This is beautiful just you need to see yourself in a positive manner. Stop caring about others. Just be yourself. ?? We are pretty, cool, beautiful and kind, it’s just the society which is damn ugly.
I am not going to sacrifice my mental health for the perfect body. ❤❌